On Ambition, Goals & Dreams.

When I was a little girl, I wanted to be an elementary school teacher. I dreamed of marking papers and giving my students stickers and stamps for a job well done.

I also wanted to be crowned a winner in those Chinese beauty pageants that I grew up watching. I wanted to dress up, look pretty and prance around on stage, but not have to answer terrifying questions wearing a skimpy bikini.

And then I also wanted to be an actress because of all the shows I enjoyed watching and all the characters I felt that I could relate to. A model, and even a singer. In short, I had wanted to be a celebrity-something, an adored-by-many performer.

If you ask me now what I want to be?

I want to be less of a dreamer. I will always be one, but being a dreamer won't be what makes my dreams actually come true. I want to be more practical in my ambition and goals.

I really like what Mark Cuban said on Finding motivation as an entrepreneur:
I daydreamed for motivation. I didn't lie to myself and talk about my passions and how if I was passionate enough about something I could be successful at it.
I was lucky. I grew up knowing that hard work and smart work has a greater impact on results than being passionate about something.

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I need to internalize the part about hard work and smart work versus simply being passionate about something. It took a really long time, but I think I finally know exactly what I want to be. And I want to share it to the world, because I want to hold myself accountable. I want to document how I am going to achieve this goal and make productive use of the free time I currently have. I need to make it count.

I will work toward the ambition of becoming The Ultimate Travelling Stylist. I want to be the go-to person to style dessert tables, design wedding and event venues, decorate interiors of home & small commercial spaces, style photo shoots for engagement sessions and models for magazine spreads. Basically, I want to be a one-stop-shop for style, aesthetics, visual & merchandising arts & design and creative direction. It's quite a handful and I know I cannot do this on my own. I want to work alongside like-minded, creative and ambitious individuals who can bring a fresh and different aesthetic, each appreciating the different style forté of the other. My goal is to operate this kind of boutique styling business, surround myself with amazing people and be able to work for clients all over the world.

That is my ambition.

I also have a dream to become a super successful blogger! I want to be able to run and manage a beautiful, visually-appealing, content-rich website (with photography and graphic design skills that I am aiming to master) and be able to share my journey with interested readers, aspiring entrepreneurs and other like-minded individuals. I want to get into the journalistic part of me! I want to be able to support brands I love, attend interesting events and interview some pretty amazing people. The latter is a very appealing perk to me. I would listen intently to their stories, explore how success came about for them and have them impart a little knowledge and wisdom to a wide-eyed sponge like myself. I want to also discover up-and-coming creative individuals and help them build their presence and brand. My website/blog would give me the platform where I can then share and exchange information, thoughts and ideas, with interested and curious individuals. These are valuable opportunities and connections I would probably otherwise never chance upon if I worked a 9-5 mundane office job my entire life, where the only thing I looked forward to, was the weekend.

Did I mention that I want to open a small cafe when I am 40 or so? Lead an active, healthy lifestyle and use my lifetime to {try} to master yoga? Live in Tokyo while I am still young and not yet 30? Be, look, feel and do everything that I can/ want/ am meant to?

Of course, a girl can still dream. But if it is feasible, why not turn that dream into a concrete reality? My first goal is to get out there and start styling. The travelling, one-stop-shop boutique and other things will follow. I want to take this opportunity to thank the people who openly expressed that they believed in me. You have no idea how much this means to me, especially at a time when it is just so easy to throw in the towel, convince yourself that great things just maybe don't happen to everyone and go on to live a stable, unfulfilled life.

Thank you for giving me the encouragement to move forward. It's a bit of pressure to not let anyone (myself, especially) down, but good pressure. To all those that aspire to be something great, let's Go. Up, and Onward.

Clean Slate.

I think of Christmas as a big, huge, festive celebration before to say good bye (sometimes more enthusiastically) to the last 12 months and to look forward to making the coming year (a) / (an even) better one. We start fresh and dive into the next 12 months of working hard, making memories and accomplishing a new set of goals or revisiting old ones we did not get around to (but still aim to) checking off our to-do list. Christmas is perfectly timed, giving us a week's time to wipe the clean slate and start with a blank canvas, so long as our attitude and mentality permits us to move forward.

Aside from the usual...
Eating Less Meat. Last night in bed, I actually pictured myself being vegetarian but I couldn't give up seafood {cocktail shrimp! cold crab! fried fish!} and Lola's Kitchen's Turkey Melt sandwich. I even went on their website to give you the exact description {TURKEY MELT Shaved roasted Ontario turkey breast with pickled red onion, cranberry mustard & double creme brie cheese on grilled multigrain bread with arugula & balsamic syrup. 13 Brieeee! SO yum. Need I say more?}
Exercising more. Do Yoga. Walk the park. Swiffer the house.
Generally being more healthy. This means no more excessive bubble tea, indulging in sweets like chocolate, hiding bags of chips and crisps in the cupboards and to STOP using the computer by 10pm, which means being in bed by midnight.

Five things I'd like to work on in the coming year include:

1. Decluttering my life. In a current state of 'stuck' this simply does not help!

2. Stop using hot/scalding hot water while washing face, hands, hair, body. This dries out my skin so bad and promotes premature aging! I'm getting better at lowering the temperature in the sense that I no longer fog up my bathroom (that much) anymore but I honestly feel like it's an addiction that is hard to wean off...

3. Start consistently moisturizing my skin, especially because of point #2. I have a lot of products because I'm a huge collector of stuff (especially if they come in pretty packaging :), but my beauty routine, if you can even call it that is pretty low maintenance. I bought these huge 300ml Aloe Vera (92%) Soothing Gel from Nature Republic on sale in Taipei, and I like it for the simple fact that it's aloe vera = good for skin, and it's less perfume-y, seems more natural and probably has less chemicals that your skin can do without, than say, the body lotions from Bath & Body Works.

4. Sit cross-legged less often (I'm currently in this position as I'm typing away. SOM!). Honestly, I think this is even harder than #2 and #3 combined. I need one of those office chairs that simply wouldn't even give me enough space to sit like that. I had no problem with sitting like a normal person when I was at work, so this might be the one crucial investment I would have to make in the new year. That, and a smart phone. I wouldn't mind a tablet either... and a DSLR... and a better laptop and... :)

5. Working on this blog as a side project while working full-time, living on my own and coming to terms with myself. I honestly felt that by the time I reached this point in my twenty-something years of life, I would have achieved more and had more to show for. Sometimes I can't help but wonder if I've been pushing myself away from who I am meant to be, rather than embracing it; because I fear of what negative outcomes might come from it. Or am I just afraid of disillusioning myself and what I have been insisting to be reality; really is not? Maybe it's the tiger child in me, but I have been feeling just an overwhelming wave of restlessness combined with a resurfaced thirst for recklessness. Time will only tell.